Thursday, April 16, 2009
{ 9:39 AM }
Rain.
EL COMPO 7th April '09.
the one i said i would post.
I watch you intensely, you form from nowhere, magically created out of the empty vacuum we label air and sky. They say you are water vapour, condensed and heavy, pulled down, as all things must be, by gravity - your invisible chain that ties you to the ground without any hope of return to your former freedom, as it so obviously seems.
My attempts to mimic your beautiful dance, your fall from grace, succeed, yet I fall short of your glorious standard. You push all blame to the ground and try to punish it, slapping it tightly out of rage the moment you see its face - the torturous monstrosity that chained you down.
May i drench myself in your sheltering mask, that my rendition of your music may be covered in your constant pulse that soaks me, and hides the reality that is shunned.
You see, both you and I agree on this point, society sees only what it wants. You are a sign of prevailing danger, of a storm, an oncoming trial and time of danger. At the sight of you, we hide within glorified shelters we erect for ourselves, our "territories". We refuse to step into your presence and embrace your magnificent beauty, your fine art and wondrous melody. That's what we are, cowards. This is a manifestation of our attitudes, a glimpse of our true selves, wimps.
So today, may I step out in pure courage and faith, embracing you as an innocent child does his dear mother, hugging her tight at her knees in affection. I wish to wait out for you as you paint violently on your enormous earthly canvas, anticipating the marvelous artpiece that results. Your composition that may appear rash and senseless at its writing, whose messiness evolves into its calm beauty - white light split into amazing seven.
In hope I walk in you and look forward, and my heart pounds wildly to your repetitive, clear thumps, like a dancer to a latino pop beat.
I shall wait with you and fight this Trojan war, my Roman helmet tightly securing me and my sword raised to the enemy. Let us fight bravely for the prize that all may want but few are given - a new chance at reality, a new day, a new face. After this tribulation that drops inevitably on our shoulders, we wait to rise back to the heavens, free from the burdens that weighed us to the ground. To freedom.
-----
when i was writing this, my mind was thinking of Christ, and of trials.
it is said in the bible and by many - a common established truth, that trials are strengthenings of character, so Christ is the end all and be all, the ultimate goal. He is the masterpiece created at the end, or in fact... perhaps salvation is the masterpiece, and He is part of the harsh, messy, senseless composition - Calvary.
Half of me was also thinking of the rain as a mask, a mask to the truth, reality - in the sense that... you know the emo phrase, "I cry in the rain because it hides my tears"?
yeah.. now i think about it... we can walk in God for he doesn't hide our "tears", but solves them and gives comfort. He wipes them off and exchanges them.
you know that Good Friday it rained, the first time my friend told me about it always raining at 12noon Jerusalem time (4pm sing.), i wanted to catch the rain, and walk in it.
I wanted to soak in it. Drench myself.
Someday i will.
maybe next year i shall set it aside, and next years will be a lot more focused. on Him.
I am falling to my knees,
I need You, Lord, to breathe in me,
my prayer is still the same,
my heart is calling out Your name.
Labels: here in your presence i am free., rain down on me
