Monday, August 31, 2009
{ 3:58 AM }
Majesty, Majesty, Your grace has found me just as i am, empty handed but alive in Your Hands.
i had a really good dream yesterday.
but it wasn't a good thing to dream about.
but that's not the thing on my mind right now. meaning that i've pretty much gotten over it?
okay good.
1. Why is it the good (here meaning interesting) workshops in ym camp are for "17 & above"?
is it right to justify a larger number of years around the sun as a higher level of spiritual maturity?
stuff like postmodernism is more than something only jc students/uni can comprehend.
2. maybe i'm not meant to go this year? i don't know. dad wants to go to italy during the same period. (://)
and i don't think i should anyway.
if i do:
- i'd have too many camps already. kinda like last year x.x
- i'd have a chance of using the camp as a "high" charger, and that's not good.
- i'd be able to go with jam (:
on to something of more importance
what is a career in which one can focus entirely on Christ, yet can appease parents who wish for their child to "do well"?
paradoxical statement, is it not?
For a fellow JAMer (: :
(and everyone else who is reading! (: )as of late, i discover so many 'Christians' i do know, who... aren't truly saved.
what does it mean to be truly saved?
personally, i believe it's something that can only be done by the Spirit of the Lord.
when the person is baptized by the Holy Spirit, he is truly saved.
it's not just a prayer that goes "yes, i'd like to ask Jesus into my life"
if the person has never read the gospel, and has never really breathed that word of God that lasts forever, and has never been invaded by the Spirit and filled with it, he/she is not saved.
sad sad truth.
yet the question is, how do we determine that?
if the person has not, after apparent filling with His Spirit, had his life turned upside down and priorities and desires uprooted and transformed into that of Christ, he has not been saved.
"So I want you to know that no one speaking by the Spirit of God will curse Jesus, and no one can say Jesus is Lord, except by the Holy Spirit." - 1 Cor 12:3
in those times, saying Jesus is Lord, if i'm correct, meant death. only a fool would say that.
a fool filled with His Holy Spirit, sanctified, and living solely for Him.
a complete fool.
this fool chases not after the desires of the world, and lives not in the moment of that world, but in every moment given to him by the Lord. he chases only after the love so amazing and so divine that only the Lord can give.
he also chases after one-ness with the Godhead.
he knows that he is only to build a vessel that will carry him towards his goal, that which is the Lord.
“So those who are last now will be first then, and those who are first will be last.” - Matthew 20:16
he chases not after being first on this earth, he chases not after status or fame (amongst his companions and in his society) but humbles himself to the point which he knows that nothing on this earth is his; he is but a tenant, renting that which is the Lord's.
he knows his body is not his and must be returned to the Lord without unrightful mutilation and intended defect, to be used in ways that speak of the Lord. he knows his possessions and all he is blessed with are not his and his rightful inheritance is only the Lord, henceforth he is not to grip onto them with all his might and strength, but onto the Lord.
he knows that all he experiences now only makes his vessel a stronger boat, sturdier and more effective and looks on towards His Lord, union with Him.
if the things of this earth will wither, then it is far better to focus on the word of the Lord which will last forever, is it not?
the fool can only do this by The Spirit, and not by any other power in existence that is not of God.
so please tell me, are you truly living for God?
are you studying for God?
studying to glorify His Name?
question yourself, be true to your Lord - if He is of any importance.
what are you studying for?
what are you living for?
does your time spent focusing on Christ diminish in comparison to that which you live to do/are working at?
is there such thing as to study amd devote yourself to that to glorify His Name?
if you focus on His Kingdom, does He not promise to add on everything else unto you?
henceforth why do you rely on your own energy and focus on "studying to glorify His Name"/"working hard to glorify Him" instead of focusing more living for Him and delighting in His ways?
be right with Him, let all things else diminish in comparison to Him, and He will grant you that which you desired before you surrendered it to Him. check that relationship between you and Him, are you rightly connected?
what is that one rock standing in the way of the living stream of water of you and your connection to the source of Christ, preventing you from continuing your path?
this is but a lesson i am implementing now, though not for studies, for that had not been the thing that i hold dearest.
when i finally realize my empty-handed-ness, and nothing-ness, i know that in Your Hands, i am alive completely and with overflowing, abundant joy.
---
also, kudos to seth, who was the only one who noticed the "est electricum!" and asked (:
Labels: for a fellow JAMer (:
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
{ 6:40 AM }
What in the world does God want me to do?
"What has God destined for me on earth? What is His purpose for my life? What does Jesus want me to do for Him?"
To the above questions, my only answer is this - God wants me to love Him with all my hear, all my soul, and all my strength. To put His will above any of mine, that my heart's only desire will be to glorify His Name.
To reduce myself to a merely conscious human being surrendered to the command of God may seem extremely unwise to the eyes of the world, but in His Spirit, and to my saved soul, there can be nothing greater, higher, or edifying than, and no power and love above that which is His.
What joy fills my heart as i contemplate all that precede and ensue from the constant act of this surrender.
What must precede and remain consistent is a continually deepened love for and relationship with Him, until a point where nothing can ever take His place is my life, that which is none but first. This process will require almost eternity to develop and would be impossible without His Spirit and Almighty Presence.
He found me and formed me, and knew everything about me before I did Him, and this knowledge, combined with His indescribable power override and overshadow all that is known and can be the only thing that will fill the vacuum abyss in my heart.
And by His Spirit and the Name of Jesus, all shall fall into place when i focus only on Him. Loving Him, and showing my love for Him to Him, not the world, for His thoughts are all that matter, regardless of what happens to me.
He will provide.
Labels: amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
{ 4:28 AM }
Delirious - Majesty (Here I am)
Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty
Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire
Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty
Labels: now i've found the greatest love of all is mine
Sunday, August 9, 2009
{ 11:41 PM }
parachute band:D
Lord I come into Your Holy place
stand in awe of Your cleansing grace.
who am i, that You would care for me?
I glorify the one who died for me.
Glorified, glorified
Let Your Name be lifted up and glorified
Let the earth tremble at Your Name
Let Your Name be lifted up and glorified
Into Your hands, I commit my life
Day by day as a living sacrifice
Who am I that You would care for me?
I glorify the one who died for me
Glorified, glorified
Let Your Name be lifted up and glorified
Let the earth tremble at Your Name
Let Your Name be lifted up and glorified
Labels: amazing love, how can it be that you my King would die for me?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
{ 3:11 AM }
up, up and... idolatry?
Up! :D
hahah yeah watched it yesterday 0:D hee.
you know the funniest thing? o.o i cried man.
i cried.
it's so weird, really. i cried when that ellie and carl didn't recognize their "dreams" and they were growing old gradually.
and i cried when carl finally opened the section of ellie's album he always thought was blank.
hmm, maybe it was coz i felt like it was a waste.
that their lives were so wrapped around each other that when ellie left, carl broke.
yeah, maybe carl's attitude in the story could be justified on human terms, but i completely felt like, "where's God?"
then i had this sudden fear and feeling like, if the rapture happened now, what would have happened to me.
i would be staring at a talking, moving wall. instead of holding on to God.
and when that guy that carl idolized appeared, it was so scary.
so scary how he could be so consumed in what the world thought of him
and how monstrous he'd become.
and i left the cinema thinking, it was good. but i felt pretty unsettled.
and now i think of it yet again, idolatry.
and how idolatry isn't just about a golden calf and drunken orgies.
or a harvest "god" baal and polytheism.
idolatry isn't just about your "legal" religion, it's about priorities, and your heart.
and one thing it's definitely linked with is worship.
worship - comes from old english weorthscipe. and literally means worth -ship.
giving worth to something.
worship (n.)
O.E. worðscip, wurðscip (Anglian), weorðscipe (W.Saxon) "condition of being worthy, honor, renown," from weorð "worthy" (see worth) + -scipe (see -ship). Sense of "reverence paid to a supernatural or divine being" is first recorded c.1300. The original sense is preserved in the title worshipful (c.1300). The verb is recorded from c.1200.
since the definition of "worth" is already commonly established,
-ship: a native English suffix of nouns denoting condition, character, office, skill, etc.: clerkship; friendship; statesmanship.
O.E. -sciepe, Anglian -scip "state, condition of being," from P.Gmc. *-skapaz (cf. O.N. -skapr, O.Fris. -skip, Du. -schap, Ger. -schaft), from base *skap- "to create, ordain, appoint." Cognate with O.E. gesceape (see shape).
i⋅dol⋅a⋅try
–noun, plural -tries.
1. the religious worship of idols.
2. excessive or blind adoration, reverence, devotion, etc.
hence worship means giving and appointing worth to something in one's life and being devoted to it. appointing it a state and condition of being first and most important
and idolatry means excessive devotion to something (i.e. an idol)
and to devote means to give all or a large part of one's time or resources to (something)
therefore, when a large part of one's life is given to something else, where that thing is in a state and condition of being first in one's life, it's idolatry.
meaning when something else takes #1 in life before God, it's an idol and one is committing idolatry.
yes, i'm repeating the same point over and over. for emphasis.
it's not just a stupid golden calf or a stupid baal but can be anything.
when you don't Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and strength, and instead put something else in that position, it's idolatry! :(((
hence possible idols:
-> those literal "ou3 xiang4" celebrity idols
-> work/career/school/grades.
-> significant others
-> money and "security"
-> clothes and things we use
-> "odes to ...(something or other)." - a manifestation of idolatry.
-> addictions.
-> yourself. your goals. your future. your desires. your reputation.
yes, yourself.
when you put yourself before God in your life you are already committing idolatry.
hence, sin is rampant.
yes, very rampant.
and all those worldly ideals celebrated by humanity as such manifested in media
have little hints that link directly to a gigantic problem of idolatry.
it's like a fishnet thread that's leads to an iceberg covered by a gigantic golden silk cloth.
and we question ourselves why there are so many hypocrites that surround us, looking at ourselves at times as well, without thinking about what is first in priority at the point in which they commit the act of hypocrisy.
henceforth i am but a saved sinner who can do nothing, not even love God and put Him as first in my life, without His help. and His hand.
Labels: humanity is weak, sin is easy
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
{ 5:34 AM }
an angel's smile is what you sell, you promised me heaven and put me through hell.
it's august.
already.
i'm so tired, and heng tomorrow's thursday and friday is lessonless.
so tired.
hoping friday will be fun (:
yes. in joyful expectation, friday, saturday sunday, monday. <3
key concepts of today:
- a. dependent relationship > taking the next step/worrying aka planning it/asking God for it
- b. God ≥ love x ∞. yet, God = love
- c. firm conviction by the Spirit > being tolerant of worldly ideals
- d. God sees <3
- e. God = holy, therefore, He makes us holy, and true love will hold on tight.
- f. holiness = purity = not just physical, but <3
- g. man + the Spirit = true/God's wisdom, and faith = logical.
- h. man - the Spirit = blinded, possesses apparently intellectual human wisdom, but never true insight. hence faith ≠ logical.
- i. the love for sin a person slowly develops as he indulges in it ≈ the love of destructive behaviour which ^ with indulgence
- j. in face of emptiness & unhappiness -> check relationship.
- i. the world promises "heaven" - a mask of its hell.
i'm seriously a darn lit. person :/
and my longwindedness is even pissing me off. hahah
seriously, have you seen my physics answers? you'll laugh at the foolishness hahah
0:D heh.
you know the funniest thing is, i thought about it, and the Bible itself keeps repeating concepts. The Jewish style of emphasis is repetition (which contrasts in comparison with modern day technologically styled emphasis which = bolditalicunderlinestrikethrough.
and it repeats the same line for emphasis.
not saying that my longwindedness is good because of this,
but i'm just pointing out the irony. seriously quite funny leh.
and the funniest thing is, i only begin becoming longwinded when i speak about matters of substance.
yet in my blog, it's sentence per para. or you get the drift.
alright, tired me -> shower -> work - > sleep (:
Labels: it's been a long time coming down this road, now i know what i've been searching for.
